A Big Fat Green Failure

Last week I was in New York, and I sat through what can most appropriately be called big, green, and ugly. No this wasn’t the Statue of Liberty; it was Shrek the Musical on Broadway.

The Oscar-winning DreamWorks movie that redefined fairytales for children and brought crude humor to adults made its debut onto New York’s City’s Broadway. However, somewhere in between The Phantom of the Opera and Mama Mia, Shrek the Musical just seemed out of place.

In a faraway kingdom, draped with redundant sets and unoriginal backdrops, things get ugly, yes very very very ugly, when a fairytale goes wrong. In this kingdom, an unseemly ogre, whose singing can only be compared to that of opera tenor, Luciano Pavarotti (they might even look alike), shows up to save the day despite his failure to sound anything like Shrek from the movie. His mission is to rescue a feisty princess, from a fierce dragon that looks like a cross between a stuffed animal and a 5th grader’s paper mache project.

Shrek’s companion, Donkey, might be the only actor on that stage that plays his role to perfection. How you might ask? Simple, he makes an ass out of himself on stage. This donkey, who won’t shut up, but really ought to, throws on a Halloween costume and a little bit of face paint to help Shrek save the day.

Along their journey, Shrek and Donkey come across the most random assortment of misfits. If I had to guess, these were all leftover costumes from legitimate animated productions on Broadway like The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast. The ensemble of these characters has the most random collection of songs which are complemented by dance moves most commonly used at a sweet sixteen.

The only noteworthy part of this performance is Christopher Sieber’s portrayal of the bad guy, Lord Farquaad. He struts around on his knees with a doll attached to his body to represent Farquaad’s pint sized frame. Whenever Sieber comes on stage, the crowd falls into a thunderous eruption of laughter.

None of the good songs from the movie were used, and Donkey doesn’t sing even sing to Smashmouth’s I’m a believer. The two lovebirds never roam through the fields while The Counting Crow’s sing Accidentally in Love.

The highly anticipated show took on a challenge when it set out to portray a brilliantly made film. The show doesn’t include any of the things the audience loved from the film, and bores the audience with songs that only narrate the next scene. I have to be honest; I fell asleep for about ten minutes because I was that bored.

If you don’t believe me, look at the facts, this newly released Broadway debacle already sells its seats for 40% off the ticketed price. My advice to you is this: if you do decide to watch this show, just lower your standards for theatre and you might just get your money’s worth.

- Shrenil S. Bhansali